Anti-Social Media - AAARRRGH!!!

OK, I finally bit the bullet and got a Facebook account.  I started a crowd-funding campaign a couple months ago and they say it won't come up in the public search directory unless you have your campaign connected to Facebook.  This makes absolutely no sense to me at all, but eventually I caved in and tried to set up a Facebook account.

And yes, Facebook is almost as much of a pain in the butt as I'd thought it would be.  I at least managed to set up the account and put some good stuff on there, and I've even started to check out a couple people's profiles, but man it's just one more social media site that's basically a hassle to use.  Since I'm almost totally blind I use a keyboard and screen reader to access the computer, and aside from having to slog through all the links and clutter before I find the link I want, I found I couldn't even open the links that had submenus.  I'm lucky I have a little bit of sight so I can try to use the mouse to open them, but it's still damn hard to do.  Having said this, Facebook's still more accessible than I expected it to be.  At least my screen reader reads out all the links that don't have submenus attached.  There's no way to read people's photos and stuff, but it at least reads the text that isn't contained within an image.

I'm not much of a social media user and probably won't be one any time soon.  But I also recognize that social media can be used to do positive things, and that's why it pisses me off even more when my screen reader slows down or crashes every time I try to use social media (whether it's my blog, my Twitter account, LinkedIn or Facebook).  I've e-mailed at least a couple of these companies to try to improve accessibility for people using screen readers, but although they sound like they're interested in fixing the problems nothing's happened yet.  So guys, could you PLEASE hurry the fuck up and make your sites more accessible for people with disabilities?  I'm about ready to run over someone with my chair from sheer frustration!  Not that I think violence is the right way to solve anything, but this social media crap is making me even more anti-social than usual.  AAARRRGH!!!

Google and Apple Are Watching Us

I just heard on the radio today that Google and Apple are watching us via our smartphones - GASP!!!  OK, I know I sound kind of flippant about this, but do you really want to tell me you've never figured this out before now?  Our smartphones have GPS systems. They keep records of our usage, preferences, and lots of other stuff.  There's a security feature that can locate your phone if it's stolen.  Our phones use something called "background data" so we end up getting charged for data usage even when we're not actively using the phone's network to access the internet unless, that is, you've turned off that particularly nasty feature.  And there's probably a whole lot of other stuff smartphones do and keep track of that we don't know about yet.  So does it really come as such a big shock that Google and Apple and who-knows-who-else is tracking our location and other stuff?  The only thing that really surprised me about this "news" was that smartphones can also tell when we're sleeping, like an expensive, portable, electronic version of Santa Claus.  I honestly don't know how that works, except maybe for the phones with heart monitors, if our heart rates change when we're asleep, and that's if we're messed-up enough to sleep with our smartphones in bed with us.

It may sound like I'm totally OK with this stuff.  Well, I'm definitely not.  My idealistic and unbusinesslike mind says that unless you're the police and you have a really good reason to believe someone's doing something they really shouldn't be, I don't see any valid reason to track someone's location etc., and even if you are the police with a damn good reason for suspecting someone of committing a crime (or being about to commit a very serious crime) you still should have a court order to do that stuff.  Companies like Apple and Google aren't the police, and I don't think they should be collecting data on us without our explicit knowledge, and preferably consent.  But that's just my idealistic mind talking, and I know that's not really how the world works.

So I actually have an advantage over most smartphone users, and amazingly it's because of the fact that my disabilities make smartphones really hard for me to use, plus the fact that I don't have a lot of bucks and can't afford to have my phone running up data charges on me when I'm not even trying to use the internet or GPS.  You see, I'm not glued to my phone the way other people are, I see it as more of an encumbrance than an extension of my body or brain.  But despite the fact that my phone's hard for me to use, I have a curious mind and wanted to know about all the options on my phone so I managed to go through all my phone's menus etc.  I got especially curious when I started getting hit with data charges when I wasn't even using the internet on my phone without WiFi.  So I eventually found out how to turn off the phone's ability to use "background data".  I also found out how to turn off my GPS and other stuff I don't need and don't use anyway.  Not that I have anything to hide, but I'm glad I can at least keep some of my info away from prying assholes who have no valid reason to know where I am and when.

Fighting Terrorism - What's The Best Way?

OK, I know I haven't blogged about this before, but terrorism really pisses me off.  I have to say I do know what it's like to be so angry at something you just want to smack someone in the head or shoot someone, but I, unlike terrorists, try to calm myself down and don't act on my momentary violent thoughts.  I'm all for people fighting against oppression and trying to make everyone aware of what's wrong in the world, but terrorism isn't the way to make the world aware of the problems out there!  In fact, killing or kidnapping innocent people only makes the world fear, hate and want to kill you, not want to help improve your situation.  Furthermore, killing or kidnapping innocent people in the name of any religion or cause makes people hate or fear everyone associated with that religion or cause, no matter how valid or just it is.  I don't get why terrorist groups like ISIS/ISIL, Boko Haram or Al-Qaida don't see or care that they're making things so much worse for Muslims.  I think a lot of people believe Islam is responsible for terrorism when the real problem isn't Islam or Muslims but the fucked-up way some people interpret the Qur'an and twist it to suit whatever sick ideas they have.  In fact any religion can be twisted to suit the sick ideas of a few assholes -- it's been done with Christianity and I'm sure it's been done with other religions too.

And although I'm also not a big fan of a lot of the actions the military has carried out, it's still wrong to kill military personnel or anyone else, and the attacks on the soldiers in Ottawa and Montreal last week were totally horrible and unjustified.  I'm really sorry for the families of the military guys who were murdered, and I really hope there aren't more assholes like those terrorists waiting in the wings to kill more people here.  But I don't just want to see an end to terrorism here, I don't want innocent people killed here or in any other country.  I don't want innocent kids anywhere kidnapped or harassed just for trying to get an education.  What I keep wondering is how to stop this shit from happening.  A friend sent me a YouTube clip of an interview with Malala Yousafzai at the Forbes Under 30 Summit, and you can check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAhjiUh-Pho.  in this interview she said the best way to prevent terrorism from perpetuating is to make sure all kids have an education, not to kill terrorists.  She said that although killing a terrorist might prevent one attack from happening, that terrorist might have a kid who grows up to become a terrorist because the kid's father was killed.  I can definitely see her point, especially if the child becomes poorer with no father and doesn't get the opportunity to go to school and learn that there are other ways to deal with stuff.  Although that doesn't account for a lot of middle-class people who are well-educated and have parents that are well-educated but still get sucked into this shit.  I wonder if those people are like messed-up sponges that just suck up and act on whatever crap people tell them.  And exactly what do you do with those idiots?

I'm sure there's no cut-and-dried answer to this stuff, but it seems to me like we need some way to stop and prosecute current terrorists while educating kids to keep them from becoming terrorists.  I don't have any training or anything, so I have no fucking idea what's the best way to do this, but I hope someone will come up with the right answer soon.

My First Smartphone, OMG!

OK, after lots of research via Google and Bell Canada, and some other cell phone carriers too, I found a way to possibly make a smartphone work for me.  I was told the iPhone was the best for accessibility, but the iPhone (and other newer Android phones that also have built-in screen readers) only comes with an expensive plan I can't afford.  Bell had one older Android smartphone that came with a basic voice plan, so after doing what research I could on the old fart I bit the bullet and got it.

As you can probably figure out from a couple of my previous posts, researching the accessibility of smartphones and other cell phones was in itself an exercise in frustration.  The next step was to find a decent case for the little guy that would be reasonably shock resistant, easy for me to grip, and affordable on a low budget.  While that wasn't easy for me either, I did find a really cheap ($5) TPU gel case on Amazon.ca from Skypillar that I thought might have some texturing on the sides for a better grip, and when I got it I wasn't disappointed.  This case has a pretty good design and its material and texturing makes it easy to hang onto (beats the crap out of Bell's $20 gel case that was slippery and not-so-easy to hang onto).  I modified my new case with some rubbery stick-on Braille dots and some rubbery, cushiony 3M grip tape to make it even more shock resistant and grippy, so my new case might look a little weird but it should protect my new old-fart from drops and bumps -- I hope.   I also had to search for a portable Bluetooth keyboard that have concave keys (the kind that are shaped to your fingertips instead of flat), so I could actually type on my new phone reasonably well and as quickly as possible.  Yes, this was another exercise in frustration, especially since it seems like all the cheaper Bluetooth keyboards have flat keys I can't type on (my fingers just go sliding off home row whenever I try to press any key that's not on home row).  I was lucky I'd been able to save a little bit, because the keyboard I figured would work best for me was about $80, and that was only because I got a really good deal on it.

So the case works well, and the keyboard works pretty good too, now for the phone itself.  When I got the phone almost 2 weeks ago I had the store staff turn on the screen reader for me, and then the fun started.  Although the screen reader works pretty good a touch screen is still a touch screen, meaning it's hard to know what you're pressing until the screen reader decides to tell you what your finger's on - another exercise in frustration, as I expected, especially since the screen reader doesn't always decide to talk when you touch something.  Also I have wide clumsy fingers that sometimes double-tap by accident or jerk away from what I want to tap, and that makes things even more interesting (well, interesting's one word for it anyway).  But once I got it home (where hopefully no one could hear my constant cussing) I did manage to get it set up the way I wanted, and even managed to put a strap on the little sucker so I can wear it.  Since then I've been learning tricks to make it work a little better.  I'm lucky I have a little bit of sight, otherwise it would have been even more frustrating and tedious, if not altogether impossible.  I spent the first week or more trying out and tweaking some basic stuff like the Contacts list, memos, texting, calling, and refining my settings.  Once I got familiar with the device I went online with WiFi.  I tried opening the web browser and accessing my GMail account.  While the phone's GMail app's pretty accessible so far, I couldn't read anything on the web browser until I found out scripts had to be installed from the phone's Accessibility menu.  Then it was doable, although not too easy.  Even before then I'd been looking into apps that would make my phone more useful.  I didn't want to get too many apps and clutter up my system, but I did get some good ones that were free.  The best app I got was a talking compass, and a couple of the apps aren't usable for me yet because of either accessibility issues or some other software glitches.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about the on-screen keyboard.  It's just as frustrating and slow as I expected!!!  I had no luck with the QWERTY keyboard, even in landscape mode, but luckily Samsung has a 3x4 keyboard that's kind of like the keypad on a regular phone.  It's still really hard and slow to use, but I can get by with it if I have to.  That's why I'm really glad I was able to get a decent Bluetooth keyboard that I can stick in my bag and take with me.  I can't type very fast on a physical keyboard, but I still do way better with that than with the nasty on-screen keyboard.

My conclusion: I still want to strangle, punch and shoot whoever got the bright idea to design touch screens, and a few smacks upside his/her head would be pretty cathartic too.  But at least there are options for making at least some smartphones usable for at least some things besides making a phone call.  I'm hoping it'll get at least a little easier to use this thing and that the apps I downloaded and can't use yet will get updated to something I actually can use.  But at least now when I'm out and waiting for the bus or occasionally having a coffee I can do something more productive than listen to my iPod.

Rediscovering Smoothies

In April I got a NutriBullet blender, thinking it would work better than the blender I had that didn't work so well and was really hard for me to clean.  The NutriBullet has a way more powerful motor and is supposed to liquefy fruits and veggies.  Well, it doesn't exactly liquefy them, and it doesn't break down seeds nearly as well as I thought it wood, but it does at least make it easier for me to get healthy fruit/veggie smoothies.  I'd been making smoothies with my other blender, but they mainly consisted of things like Nestle Breakfast Essentials or protein powder, juices or milk, yogurt, liquid egg, and other stuff that wasn't too hard to blend.  Although my smoothies aren't as big as the ones in the NutriBullet recipes (those are way too big for me), I at least manage to get a pretty healthy dose of fruits and veggies into me most days.

It was pretty tough going at first, and even now it's still not what I'd call enjoyable, but at least I learned something about the trouble I've always had with swallowing pulpy stuff.  My first couple NutriBullet smoothies were an exercise in sheer frustration, since they were much too thick for me to drink, and even after I thinned them out with more liquid I found it too hard to get the berry seeds all the way down my throat.  That's when I finally started to wonder why I'm able to eat solid foods as long as I can chew them up finely but I can't drink pulpy stuff.  So next time I was eating solid food I tried to figure out what I was doing differently from when I was drinking.  I finally figured out that my tongue is almost always at the roof of my mouth when I'm eating and that the food goes down the sides of my tongue to get down my throat.  OK, I'm sure that sounds really weird to a lot of you, and I don't know how to explain why this would affect my being able to swallow solid stuff, but I'm thinking maybe the center of my throat opening is more closed off than the sides.  Anyway, the next day I made another smoothie and tried drinking it with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and it worked!  All the pulpy stuff went down without getting stuck.  I tried another smoothie with berries, and I was able to get the seeds down too.  I still have to run the blender for a few minutes to get it to a consistency I can handle (I only let it run 50 seconds at a time though and wait a couple minutes between so the motor doesn't overheat).  I've tried to run the blender for less time and use a strainer for the rest of it to cut down on my power usage, but I'm exhausted by the time I'm done and there are still too many seeds left (I stopped trying to do this when I got a raspberry seed stuck in my throat).

Although the NutriBullet's a little easier to clean than my old blender it's still not that easy for me to clean. And I can't say I've been feeling any better with all those fruits and veggies inside me like the other NutriBullet users say they do.  But at least I'm getting healthy stuff into my stomach, and maybe it takes a long time before you actually feel the results.  I've also been really lucky to find lots of frozen veggies and fruits in my grocery store that aren't too expensive, since I'm afraid that fresh fruits and veggies would hang around my place too long past their prime.  Well, gotta go now and have my lunch smoothie (1/2 cup of spinach, 1/2 cup of carrots, 1 cup of blueberries and some orange juice).

Dumbass Smartphone Blues!

If you've already read "The BlackBerry Blues", a post I did way back in 2008, you'll have some idea what this post is about.  I'm sorry to say that not a damn thing has changed since that post, at least not for me.

Last year I was really hoping BlackBerry would come through with a phone I might be able to use, but the Z10 was a touchscreen and the Q10's keyboard was still too small for my clumsy hands.  And these new versions, from what I can gather, don't seem to even come with a screen reader like previous versions did.

Yeah, I know, now we have the iPhone, which I hear a lot of blind people are using.  And I'm really glad it works for a lot of people.  But aside from the fact that it relies on a virtual keyboard and touchscreen icons instead of a tactile keyboard and buttons, you also have to be able to make gestures.  Although my hand dexterity's not the worst, it's not great either, so I can safely predict that the iPhone and other phones like it would very likely misread a gesture I was trying to make.  And not knowing where the icons are (or what they are) makes these phones especially tedious to use.  Sure, they have VoiceOver or some other screen reader, but that just means you have to keep tapping around the screen blindly and listen each time to find out what the fuck you just pressed.  Yeah, eventually you'll hit the right icon or menu option, but it'll take a while.  Not my idea of a good time!!!

I was Googling just a while ago, trying again to find accessible smartphones (and even flip phones), but so far I haven't had much luck.  All the keyboards (on the phones that actually still have physical keyboards) are still too small for me to touch-type on.  Since I'm blind I need to touch-type (for you hunt-and-peck guys that's where you keep your fingers on the home row and from that position you know where all the other keys are without seeing them).  I've been told I could get a Bluetooth keyboard to go with the phone, but that would be even more tedious and cumbersome since I'd be dropping both devices instead of struggling to hang on to just one.

And then there are my favorite phones of all -- the senior phones!  OK, at first I actually thought these might be just the thing for me, and they might have been if I only wanted to make phone calls.  I can't believe this, but when I was Googling a while ago I found a set of phone picks for seniors, whose intro started out like this: "When choosing a phone for your elderly parents or grandparents, forget about 4G, Bluetooth, or dual-core processors. There's also not much chance they'll have much use, if any, for texting or data plans to post to social media sites."  If you don't believe me just go to http://www.bestcovery.com/best-cell-phone-for-seniors and see for yourself. Now I'm not sure what date this was written, but it was at the top of Google's list when I searched for "large key flip phone" -- yes, I'd already tried search terms like "accessible smartphone" and come up with nothing useful.  At this point I wanted to scream and throw things, not to mention seriously damage all the assholes who make cell phones and lots of other stuff I can't use.  Although I'm getting up there I'm far from being a senior, but with all the aging Baby Boomers out there I just know there has to be a bunch of seniors who want a lot more than just a simple cell phone that only makes calls and maybe has an SOS button.  I knew this kind of senior phone existed back in 2008, but I thought for sure the phone manufacturers would have wised up by now and started making smartphones with bigger keys (I mean real keys), a built-in screen reader, and other accessibility features that would be helpful for seniors as well as other people with disabilities.  But apparently the dumbass smartphone makers still haven't figured out that not everyone gives a crap about their ultra-thin, ultra-light phones that wouldn't even make a good paperweight and would probably shatter if you looked at them the wrong way.

OK, I'm totally at my wit's end here.  I tried e-mailing companies like BlackBerry -- yes, more than once -- to get them to make their stuff more accessible, and only got form letters back.  After the Z10 and Q10 came out I e-mailed them again to ask if they had screen readers on their new units, and got no reply.  I've tried e-mailing laptop companies too, to ask them to make their laptops with keyboards that have the old-style concave keys that are much easier to type on if you touch-type like I do.  NADA!!!  The only thing I can do now is hope a bunch of aging Baby Boomers will start an uprising and storm the manufacturers' head offices or something.  Hey, a girl can dream can't she?

Washroom Woes!

... She'd just started to wipe when suddenly the toilet flushed itself, trying to pull her into its gaping maw.  She broke free from its hungry pull and tried to finish cleaning up, but the toilet flushed again, intent on sucking her into its depths. ...

So you think this is part of some weird horror story?  Well, it's actually real life.  Yeah, this actually happens. In the "accessible" washrooms that have motion-sensing toilets and sinks, and sometimes even motion-sensing soap dispensers, a simple trip to the can turns from a tedious everyday experience into something out of a horror flick.  Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate people trying to make public washrooms accessible for people with disabilities, but before they spend big bucks on getting high-tech stuff they really need to try it out for themselves and see how well it actually works.  For that matter, maybe they should have people with disabilities designing the washroom in the first place - yes, some of us can really design stuff.  Here's what happens when you go into a washroom with automated fixtures.

First, you use the can and start to wipe, and the toilet flushes at least once or twice before you're finished.  Then, when you try to find the mechanical flush button or lever, you either can't find it at all, or there's a tiny little button way at the back where it's not accessible for the people with disabilities the toilet was meant for.  Why not put a large flush pushbutton on the side wall near the toilet paper dispenser?  I'm no plumber, but I'm sure that could be accomplished and it would make flushing a lot easier.

Second, when you get to the motion-sensing sink, it turns on before you're ready to use it and then turns off when you actually put your hand under the water stream.  And I need to mention at this point that the tap spout is usually so short and so far from the front of the sink that it's very difficult or impossible to reach for someone in a wheelchair, especially someone with short arms or someone who can't lean forward.  Then you try to get soap from the motion-sensing soap dispenser and you're lucky if you get the soap in your hand where you want it.  If you're unlucky the soap dispenser will trigger itself onto your lap or shoes where you really don't want it.  Dude, just put in a single-lever faucet with a long spout, you know, the kind of tap found in kitchens!  That works!

Next, you either get a shot of hot air in the face from the automatic dryer, or you get some paper towels dropped in your lap by the motion-sensing paper towel dispenser.  (And if you still have any soap on your lap or shoes you'll be pretty much tarred and feathered, the same experience a friend of mine had.)

Not only that, but in a lot of "accessible" washrooms, whether automated or not, there's not enough space for a chair or scooter to maneuver and turn around easily if at all.  And in a lot of washrooms the placement of soap dispensers, paper towel dispensers, garbage cans and other stuff is often totally illogical for people using wheelchairs or other mobility aids.  Aaarggg!!!  OK, I've exhausted my potty mouth and my sense of toilet humor, and now I need to hit the can again.

Wheelchair cane system -- It works!!!

For years I've been trying to figure out a good design for a white cane system that can be used by blind people in wheelchairs, so we have our hands free for doing other stuff.  Yeah, I know there may not be many of us out there, but there are definitely more of us than you might think.  In my power wheelchair I use one hand to control the joystick and the other to sweep my cane back and forth, and I wanted an alternative to my standard white cane because my hand gets numb from constantly sweeping the cane.  I'd also like to use a manual chair (if I can ever get the funding) so I can get more arm exercise by pushing myself in the chair, and I'd need both hands free to do this.  Well, I finally came up with a design I thought would work, and brought my design to Tetra to see if someone could make it for me.  One of our volunteers did just that, and he did a great job!  He even made a few improvements to my design where I went wrong, and got some parts donated.

I just got the finished product Wednesday night.  After putting the red and white reflective tape on it (so people will hopefully recognize it as a cane for blind people), and tinkering with it a little, it was ready for a full trial run.  It worked pretty good, but there were still a few kinks to work out.  I thought and tinkered some more, and gave it another try.  Even better, but still a couple problems.  A neighbor helped me fix one problem, and I fixed another one.  Now it's almost perfect, and ready to go again!  Whoo-hoo!

I don't have any pictures to put here, but basically the cane system is made of two upside-down T shapes connected together at the bottom.  The vertical tubes of the T's sit on my seat and lay against the outside of each leg.  The horizontal tubes (or what would be the tops of the T's) have wheels and roll along the ground a few feet in front of me, across the width of my chair.  The system lets me feel what's coming up ahead of me (obstacles, curbs, steps, changes in ground texture, etc.) through the vibrations that travel up the tubing from the ground, while leaving my hands free for other stuff.  It is pretty noisy, but I hope it won't bother people too much.  In fact, the noise actually seems to warn people that I'm coming so they get out of the way faster.

Anyway, I'm hoping that once I can put the finishing touch on this baby it'll work perfectly for me, and that a device like mine will help other people like me too.

Response letter to Brenda Millson's neighbor

Brenda Millson is the grandmother of an autistic boy named Max, and last week her lousy excuse for a neighbor put a hateful letter in Brenda's mailbox just because she didn't like the noise Max was making when he played outside.  I'm sure this noise, by the way, is much more tolerable than construction noise, really loud music blaring, the loud, high-pitched screaming a lot of non-disabled kids do, or any number of other "normal" noises we hear on a daily basis.  When my attendant read me this woman's letter in the paper this morning I had to release all my pent-up anger by responding to this woman's hateful spew.  So yes, there's a lot of cussing in this letter, but my brain doesn't have all the words to compose a letter like this without some cussing.  To find out more about the letter I'm referring to, visit http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/story/2013/08/20/autistic-boy-family-receives-euthanize-letter-ontario-newscastle.html.  Here goes:

Dear Nasty, Evil, Small-Minded Slimeball (Nessie for short),

First of all, you call yourself "one pissed-off mother" but what you really are is a piss-poor excuse for a human being, and a mother-fucker rather than a mother.  I hope your so-called "normal children" haven't been permanently warped by your mind-polluting garbage.  Yeah, I understand that if you didn't spew your hateful crap all over the place you'd either explode or self-combust, but I'd much rather you burned your own rotten self up with your hatred than have you spread your horrible disease to everyone else.

Yeah, I know you're angry Nessie.  I really do know what it feels like to be eaten up inside with lots of pent-up anger, believe me!  I was born both blind and physically disabled, and I'm far from what you'd call "normal".  I've always wanted to do something good with my life and help people even though I've never had money and never had the help I really need, but I've never been able to do the things I really want and need to do because assholes like you think people like me don't deserve any help.  There are unfortunately a lot of people like you out there, Nessie, who think people with disabilities shouldn't get the help we deserve because we won't make much of a contribution to "society".  But given the right assistance, equipment, encouragement, and yes even love, there are a lot of people with disabilities like Max, myself and others who would contribute a whole fuck of a lot more to this world than you ever did.  For that matter, the world can be made a better place even by those of us who didn't get the help we needed and grew up surrounded by cretins like you.

Yeah, maybe your mama didn't love you, and maybe even dropped you on your head a couple of times when she realized what an ugly piece of work she gave birth to, but that's no excuse to make other people feel like crap.  Who the hell is going to care for your nasty ass when you get old -- or get a crippling stroke or illness -- and can't take care of yourself anymore, especially when everyone around you realizes what an evil scumbag you really are???  Personally, I think the police should take you into custody and let scientists study what passes for your "mind", and in your case ma'am I use that term loosely.  You call your neighbor's autistic grandson "retarded", but I say you're the one who's retarded, since you're too lazy to use the brain you were supposedly born with!

Do the entire world a favor and euthanize yourself, or at least have the courtesy to crawl back into whatever hell-hole you oozed your way out of at birth.  MOVE!!!  VAMOSE!!!  SCRAM!!!  And if your so-called "normal kids are as rotten as you are, please take them with you!  Go live in the zoo or the wilderness with the rest of the beasts -- wait, I'm sorry all you guys in the zoo and wilderness, you animals aren't nearly as mean-minded as this bitch!  I'd love to meet you soon ma'am, so I can release some of that pent-up anger I mentioned earlier in this letter, and ram your hateful, disgusting butt into a wall with my power wheelchair!  Maybe once you become disabled yourself you might be a little more sensitive to people like Max.

I'm not perfect either Nessie, I have my own pet hates I need to deal with too.  For example, I really can't stand lazy people, most of whom have never worked as hard in their entire lives as I've had to work just to accomplish small things.  I also hate abusers of all kinds, including people who deliberately make life hard for people just because they enjoy seeing other people suffer.  I've sometimes thought, wrongly, that maybe they should be euthanized.  I'm sure it's wrong to kill anyone, even evil scumbags.  They should be put away where they can't hurt anyone, and maybe studied (as long as this doesn't pollute the minds of the people studying them).  So yeah, Nessie, I have to deal with my own share of hatred just like you do.  But I at least will try as hard as I can to not let that hatred and anger eat my insides up, so I won't become a despicable specimen like you.

Sincerely,

Maria Cruz (one pissed-off human being)

A Review of 2012

Happy New Year! Well, I still don't have any New Year's resolutions, except to keep trying to be the best person I can be, but I thought I’d recap some of the good, the bad and the ugly of 2012.

The good:

• President Obama got back in for another 4 years. Even if he doesn't do anything spectacularly good, he hopefully won't do anything as bad as a Republican government might have done.
• I got some of the stuff I needed in 2012, like a new chair, physiotherapy, helpful info, and some neat natural stuff to help my muscles work better.
• BlackBerry's coming out with some new stuff, including a more secure platform and some new devices. I know RIM's made some accessibility improvements in their devices in the past couple years, and I REALLY hope they'll make their new devices even more accessible for people like me. OK, I can't even afford a BlackBerry, but I'd like to know that if I had the bucks to afford one I'd actually be able to use the damn thing.

The bad and the ugly (not in any particular order):

• Luka Magnotta was named Newsmaker of the Year. OK, why are we giving scumbags like this guy attention they don’t deserve? Yeah, we need to know people like him exist, but to give him a title like that is just plain stupid.
• First Nations Chief Theresa Spence is on a hunger strike in Ottawa, along with at least one band elder, to get Canada's PM Stephen Harper and the Governor-General to meet with First Nations leaders. This is because after Stephen Harper came to power, he put through an omnibus bill that took away laws protecting waterways running through First Nations lands. Chief Spence is still on her hunger strike and not in good health, so if you’re out there Stevie, get your butt in gear and fix the mess you helped make!
• Mass shootings are happening far too often. Shooting anyone is bad enough, and killing yourself isn't great either. But if you have a beef with someone, why not take it up with that person and leave everyone else out of it? And if you're going to kill yourself, why take a bunch of innocent people with you? What's just as scary is that after the school shooting in Connecticut a lot of people went and bought the same type of gun as the asshole who shot up the school. OK people, what the hell are you thinking?
• SuperStorm Sandy was definitely bad, along with all the other hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes and other nasty disasters that have hit different areas of the world.
• It's freezing out! But it's winter after all, and in Toronto we've been spoiled for the last few years, so we're due for some nasty weather.
• Violence and repression are still rampant in the world. Let's see, there's the gang-rape on the bus in India (and probably lots of others we don’t hear about), the violence persisting in Syria and other countries, bombings, wars, corruption, poverty and all that good crap. Oh yeah, and from what I understand, Egypt's president, Mohamed Morsi, declared himself to have absolute power. Can you say "out of the frying pan and into the fire"? And I'm sure there's a lot more ugly I've either forgotten about or just haven't heard about yet.

And the weird:

• I heard on the radio last night that Kim Jong Un's wishes for the New year were not only improvement in economic development (which is a really good one by the way), but also more advanced weapons. Uh, Mr. Kim, doesn't North Korea have enough weapons already?
• Polar bear swims - WTF? OK, I like swimming, but why would anyone want to swim in the freezing cold? I totally don't get that one! At least Habitat For Humanity did its polar bear swim for a good cause, to raise money to build new homes for needy people. That's really good, but couldn't they think of an event that's a little less masochistic?

OK, after all that doom and gloom, I figured I'd make my own New Year's wish list. It's going to sound REALLY Pollyanna-ish, but here goes anyway:

• To put all kidnappers, killers, rapists, and other really nasty assholes away where they belong. OK, I could suggest something much more violent, but that would be a bad idea.
• For all national leaders to do the right thing and help their poorest citizens, as well as citizens in other nasty situations besides poverty. And I know people need to defend themselves, but do we really need so many weapons?
• For people to use their brains (to the best of their abilities at least), not be so freaking lazy, and stop being assholes in general. OK, is this one even possible?
• Laptops, smartphones, websites, software and a whole lot of other stuff I can actually use. I get the feeling a lot of manufacturers and designers figure people with my combination of disabilities don't actually think about being productive, but we really do. I want to be productive, help people, help myself, be able to make some money, and maybe even have a little fun once in a while. Is that too much to ask?
• For my skin not to be so itchy and my sinuses to stop producing so much mucous. It would be nice if the rest of my body worked right too, but I guess I can't have everything, huh.
• And for everyone (who's a decent person or at least trying to be one) to have a happy, successful 2013 and beyond.

Some cool natural stuff

I'm back again, and not only do my muscles not feel as soor, but I also have a slightly better range of motion.  The physio helped for sure, but I also stumbled on something else that really helped too.  I forget exactly what I was Googling at the time - I think it was something about baby oil because at that time I was trying to find some way to keep the chlorine from getting to my skin when I go swimming - but while I was surfing the U. of G. I somehow found out that eucalyptus oil and peppermint oil were antispasmotics and pain relievers, as well as having other great benefits.

I'd just bought some baby oil and also had some peppermint oil from the grocery store, so I splurged and bought some eucalyptus oil and vitamin E gel-caps from the drug store.  I mixed some eucalyptus oil, peppermint oil and vitamin E into the baby oil and voila!  As well as a big old oil slick to clean up, I had a body oil that moisturized me, kept the chlorine from absorbing into my skin, and also made my muscles feel good and easier to use - WHOO-HOO!!!  I have to shake the bottle before using it to mix up all the oils, because the vitamin E and peppermint tend to separate from the other oils, but it's worth it.

So then I started putting the eucalyptus, peppermint and vitamin E into my body wash for an extra kick.  This is especially helpful for me on weekends when I don't have an attendant to put the oil on for me.  So, although I don't consider myself a nature buff exactly, it was really great to learn about some of the natural remedies out there.  Here's just some of the stuff I learned so far:
- Olive oil is just as good as baby oil for keeping that nasty chlorine off your skin, and even more moisturizing and better for your skin.
- Vitamin E helps the healing process as well as moisturizing skin.  If you're using vitamin E capsules, just pop them open with a CLEAN pin or paper clip and squeeze the contents into your mixture.  You may have to shake each time to mix well.
- As well as eucalyptus and peppermint oils, grapefruit essential oil is also good for stiff muscles.
- Lemon, lime, and other citrus essential oils are good for cleansing and other stuff, but don't use any more than 2% in your mixture, because they can make your skin photosensitive.
- Essential oils are much stronger than the stuff you might buy in the drug or grocery store, so if you're using essential oils only use 10 drops per ounce of mixture (that's about 0.5ml per 29.57ml).  Otherwise you might irritate or damage your skin.

So I got to say, thanks God, for making all this cool stuff!  Oh yeah, by the way, I now have a funnel, so now when I mix up my stuff I won't make such a big mess and waste stuff.

Another Step Forward - Whoo-hoo!!!

Well I can't believe it.  In early June I started getting physiotherapy and some other stuff I should have had as a kid.  I'm finished sessions with my speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist and social worker now, but they gave me some great info and tips to help me out.  Everyone I've worked with there is great and really supportive!  Thanks guys (you know who you are)!!!

I'm still doing physio, and it's exhausting but I'm actually feeling some improvements.  I've always been used to working my butt off and not getting many results, if any at all.  But since I started physio I've noticed my trunk (torso) getting stronger - I don't get sore as quickly when I'm sitting up or standing, and my upper body doesn't sway back and forth so much when I walk.  That's the main improvement I've noticed so far, but there are others too, and I'm sure there's more to come!  I've been at it for 7 weeks now, and have 2 more weeks to go.

And last year I even got new leg braces that are really supportive and keep my feet nice and straight.  These are custom-made braces from an orthotist (who's also great, by the way), not the cheap off-the-shelfe braces I blogged about in 2011.  These suckers are way better!

So, I'm still tired most of the time and stuff is still hard to do, but now I don't slump as much or get sore so quickly, and my balance is getting better too.  So, any chance I could run a marathon some day, huh?

DUI, WWT and other boners - WTF?

OK guys, I know this is a really old one, but since I haven't written in my blog for a REEEEEALLY long time I had to put this one in now that I have some energy.

We all know how dangerous it is to drive under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, or even to drive while distracted.  But distracted walkers can get into just as much trouble, and cause just as much too.  I've narrowly avoided head-on collisions with walkers who are clearly distracted, either by phone conversations, texting, music, or just the white noise inside their own heads.  You would think that seeing a blind woman in a power wheelchair, whizzing straight for you, would make you stop and at least try to move out of the way.  NOPE!!!  The blind chick in the power chair is often the one who has to try to move out of the way of the gabber, texter or "iPOD zombie" that's headed straight for her.  (And by the way, thanks to all the people who actually DO try to move for me.)

Earlier this year though, I got my payback, in the form of a news story about a guy in California who was WWT (walking while texting) and almost walked straight into a 400lb black bear.  OOPS!  Now, I know it's definitely not good to laugh at someone else's misfortune, but I couldn't help laughing my ass off at this one.  If you want to see the action live, go to http://www.wjla.com/articles/2012/04/man-distracted-by-texting-almost-walks-into-bear-attack-video--74799.html.

And if you ARE one of those people who multitask while walking around, I don't mean any disrespect to you.  Hey, I know we all have lots of stuff to do and not enough time to do it, but PLEEEEASE try to keep yourselves undestracted when your walking, or doing anything else that requires a clear head and the use of your hearing, vision, cognition and other senses.  I wouldn't want to hear about you becoming bear chow or roadkill.

OK, there's always going to be people who do stuff like that.  I mean, we still have idiots who drink or drug up and then drive, even though they have to know it's dangerous to them and other people.  I have no idea what to do with those people, although it would be really handy if every vehicle came with a built-in breathalizer and on-the-spot blood tester, both of which would wrap themselves around the driver the moment he or she parks his or her butt in the driver's seat.  If the driver's blood and breath test posative for any alcohol or drugs, the car won't start.  OK, I'm sure that if this technology even exists it would be pretty expensive, but it's an idea, anyway.

As for me, I'm thinking maybe I should get a 400lb seeing-eye bear to walk beside or in front of me, to wake up all those WWTers, gabbers, iPOD zombies and people who just have their heads planted firmly up their asses.  Nah, too much care and feeding involved, and I'm not any more of an animal person than I am a people person.

Real Cold!!!

Today I heard on the radio that early this morning a sixty-something-year-old woman with dementia was taken to hospital and died there shortly after, from exposure to the extremely cold weather. She’d been out all night in the cold, and although she’d screamed for help and tried to get into a warm place no one would help her. I think they said she’d been knocking on doors and scratching on screens, but no one would even call 911. I’m not sure whether she was dressed for the weather or not, but even if she had been I’m sure she still couldn’t have lasted all night in that temperature and windchill.

What I really don’t understand is, if people could see her out there and hear her screaming for help, knowing how cold it was out there, why the hell didn’t they at least have the decency to pick up the phone and call 911? I think the only reason the police found her this morning was that someone she knew had gotten them to search for her, no one in that area had called them to report that a mentally-unstable woman was out in the cold screaming for help. Now, I know firsthand how cold, uncaring and lazy people can be, but it would have taken nothing at all for a resident or passer-by to call 911 and make sure someone brought her out of the cold.

Yeah, I’ve heard of the Kitty Genovese case in the 1960s, where a woman was killed and no one called the cops even though they heard her screams, and I think that later on some people reported thinking someone else had called 911. I think others had reported thinking the screaming woman wasn’t really being hurt but was just drunk or causing mischief or something. Maybe I’m totally wrong here, but I think the typee of scream you hear from someone who’s just playing games is far different from the scream of someone who's really being hurt. And even if you’re not 100% sure what’s really happening, you should still call 911 if you think there’s a chance someone is hurt.

Yeah, I know no one wants to call 911 only to find out that nothing bad was really going on, but I think it’s better to have your pride dented and risk a reprimand than to just ignore the fact that someone might need assistance. And please, don't assume that someone else has already called 911, or helped the person in some other way, because lots of times nobody has. As an example, a few years ago I woke up one night and heard what I thought was a series of gunshots. Since I’m blind I can’t look out the window and see what’s happening, and at first I debated with myself whether to call 911 or not. I did, and the next day I found out that there really had been a shooting in my neighborhood.

Anyway, I really hope that if people are reading this it’ll make them think better the next time they see, or think they see, someone who needs help. Even if you can’t do anything for the person yourself, or you just don’t want to get involved, at least call 911 or someone else who can help.

Same Old Me, Brand New Braces

Over the holidays I was given a couple generous financial gifts, and so I was able to get myself some new, wider shoes. While I was on the New Balance website trying to find the shoe style I currently wear, I also found that New Balance had knee supports and ankle supports too. I immediately thought, “Hmm, I wonder if these would help me”, and bought a pair of the cheapest ankle supports to try out. It turned out that they did help a little, so I went back and bought a pair of the heavier ankle supports and a pair of heavier knee supports that have stabilizers in them. These help a lot more, especially using the knee and ankle supports together. I also managed to find myself an upper body support to keep myself from slumping and leaning to the side so much, and this also helps a lot.

So now that I have these braces I don’t get tired as quickly and I don’t hurt as much or as quickly. The braces even help me when I’m just sitting, since they keep my legs in better alignment and keep my upper body from slumping and leaning so much. And they seem to give me better balance too. Whoo-hoo!!! Because of this I’ve been doing more exercises and walking. Yeah, I still get tired easily, but it’s such a big change for me to be tired and still be able to do stuff, rather than being so tired I can’t do anything but go lay down on the couch. And it’s so great to be able to exercise more, without being too tired to do anything else afterward.

One person I told this to said, “It’s like it’s a whole new you”. Well, not actually, it’s the same old me with some new equipment that makes me able to do more. I get the feeling that all my life people (not including the person I just mentioned) have assumed I was just lazy and didn’t want to exercise, even though they should have been able to see that I had trouble sitting up straight and my legs and feet were turned out. Just like people assumed I had a lot more sight than I really had. I’ve really always wanted to be able to exercise and walk, and yes, even run. So I’m the same old Maria I always was, but now I have some equipment that helps me do more. I think these braces are the best things to happen to me since I got my wheelchair in 2005. (Speaking of which, I even got a new wheelchair cushion - a bunch of them were generously donated to BBNC, the community center I use.)

Anyway, I’m hoping that gradually I’ll be able to walk more (without hurting and getting exhausted so quickly), and do other exercise too. So I’m still not making any New Year’s resolution, but I’ll just keep pushing myself like I always have.

Great event this Saturday

Hi, I know I haven't checked in for a long time, but I wanted to let everyone know about a great event happening in Toronto.

On Saturday, Dec. 5 from 10am to 4pm the 1st Forum For Hispanic People with Disabilities is happening at the North York Civic Center, 5100 Yonge Street. The venue is wheelchair accessible, and the opening ceremony will have the Honorable David C. Onley (Ontario's Lieutenant-Governor) as a keynote speaker.

This forum will address the reality, needs and contributions of people with disabilities, and everyone is welcome. It will be conducted in both Spanish and English, and it's the first event of its kind in Toronto's Latino community. Disability is definitely part of diversity, and I'm really happy that this event is happening. I'll try to be there, and I hope some of you will be too. Peace.

P.S. The forum is put on by San Lorenzo, a community center dedicated to the empowerment and development of the Hispanic community, supporting newcomers from all over Latin America and helping them transition to life in Toronto. San Lorenzo is also dedicated to working towards creating harmonious relationships with diverse communities. Albeit Latino in flavor, San Lorenzo also welcomes many non-Latinos into its heart.

San Lorenzo also has its own Spanish-language radio station, Radio Voces Latinas on 1610AM. ¡Qué bueno!

The State of Assistive Technology – The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

If you read my last blog post you know that in June the Tetra Society of North America held a forum to address the issues surrounding assistive technology, especially in the province of Ontario. For everyone who’s unfamiliar with this term, "assistive technology" or AT refers to any device including software or hardware – high-tech or low-tech – that helps people with disabilities to live life as fully as possible. Assistive technology can include mobility aids, devices to help with other basic daily activities, or software and hardware that helps people to access their computer.

At the forum Tetra heard from a variety of people who use assistive technology, as well as family members of AT users, people working in the disability field, and AT manufacturers. After the forum, Tetra put together a report on the major issues that were discussed that day, and it’s been sent to a wide range of people, including journalists and government officials. If you’re interested in reading this report here are two links where you can check it out.
http://tr.im/uCi4 – this is the original report in PDF format.
http://tr.im/uCiA – this is a large-print, sans-serif version the same report in PDF format.
Enjoy!

2 Great Upcoming Events In Toronto

If you live in the Greater Toronto Area and you have a disability or know someone with a disability, here are 2 great events you’ll want to mark on your calendar.

People In Motion - June 5 and June 6, 10am-5pm:
People In Motion is Canada's premier exhibit for people with disabilities, seniors with special needs, and professionals working in related fields. People in Motion features 63,000 square feet of exhibits including adapted vehicles, mobility aids, barrier-free design, rehabilitation services, home health care products, accessible travel, leisure activities, technical aids, employment info, corporate services and government programs. Everything for a wide range of needs is displayed under one roof, making it easy for consumers and professionals to see and compare products and services. People in Motion is for you!

Date: Friday, June 5 and Saturday June 6, 2009
Time: 10:00am to 5:00pm (both days)
Location: Queen Elizabeth Building, Canadian Exhibition Place
Admission: Free
For more info please visit www.people-in-motion.com.

Tetra Society’s Assistive Technology Forum - June 18, 9am-1:30pm:
The Tetra Society of North America is a volunteer organization dedicated to designing and building assistive devices and adaptations for people with disabilities. As a Tetra volunteer I’m really happy to tell you that on June 18 we’re holding an Assistive Technology Forum that will bring together Tetra volunteers, people with disabilities, clinicians and others working in the disability field to discuss issues, gaps and challenges with assistive technology, and share ideas on how we can collaborate to make a difference. At this forum:
• there will be an opening presentation by Rick Ball, who just set the world record for single-leg amputee runners at the Boston Marathon
• I’ll be one of the 4 members on an interactive panel discussing gaps and other issues with assistive technology
• we’ll have talks and small-group discussions where people can discuss their experiences with assistive devices, and where we can hopefully brainstorm about possible solutions to existing problems
• during lunch we'll hear from the Honorable David C. Onley, Ontario's first Lieutenant-Governor with a disability.

Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009
Time: 9:00am to 1:30pm
Location: CNIB at 1929 Bayview Avenue, Room 124/126
Admission is free but you must register.
To register or to get more info please visit www.tetragta.org/index.php/Events/ATForum2009.

New Year’s Resolutions? Bah Humbug!

Well, it’s the start of a new year, and let’s hope that in 2009 we’ll see some positive stuff happening – in our own lives, our communities, or in the world at large. Yeah, I know this last one sounds pretty grandiose and naive, but a girl can dream, can’t she?

Every year we all hope for the same stuff, and a lot of us make resolutions to improve ourselves. This is great – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to be the best person you can be. The problem is that some of us, or maybe a lot of us, fall off the wagon within a couple of months after making our New Year’s Resolutions. If this is you, don’t guilt-trip yourself yet.

I think part of the problem is that some of us make resolutions we can’t possibly stick to. If you’re a couch potato don’t resolve to lose 50 pounds or get yourself fit for the next marathon, and don’t fork over big bucks for a fitness club membership you may only use for a few months. Start small, maybe try to walk a little every day and then work your way up from there. I’m no fitness expert by any means, but why give yourself a heart attack or a financial headache when you don’t need to?

I’m not saying we should be lazy and quit trying to better ourselves, just that people should know their limits. And maybe once we reach our limits we can try to push them a little further. I’m sure we all have stuff we can improve, like our physical and mental fitness, the way we treat each other, or even our level of happiness. But no one has to make a New Year’s Resolution to do this. Why do we need the start of a new year to improve ourselves? Wouldn’t it be better if we all tried to do this every day? Anyway, enough of Maria’s Bitch Session – I resolve to keep my bitching more compact (or at least try to).

Yes We Can!

Well, I can’t believe it! I’m so happy we finally did it! Not only did America indisputably elect Barack Obama, a Black man, as its 44th president, but there was a record high turnout at the polls.

But I have to admit, I’m a conspiracy theorist. Especially after the sham election of 2000, where the Electoral College and the ballot machines conspired to give us Dubya as president #43 instead of the more popular Al Gore, I didn’t think there was a whole lot of hope for Obama. But I was very pleasantly proved wrong! I’m still a bit of a skeptic though. I find myself wondering if Obama really will change America for the better, or if he’ll go along with the party line instead of listening to the people and also thinking for himself. I don’t mean any disrespect to the brother, but it seems to me like a lot of times when we finally do get the person we want in office, that person changes direction and just goes along with the status quo instead of representing the people who elected him/her. Or even worse, the person elected gets corrupted or assassinated.

Now I know you’re probably thinking, "Come on Maria, you’re jinxing the guy!", and I definitely don’t mean to jinx him! I want him to stay safe, and I really hope Barack and his administration will help make a better life for the American people. I also hope he’ll change the way America interacts with and is seen by the rest of the world. If the outcome of this election and the extra-high voter turnout are anything to go by, I think he’ll be able to pull it off.

And speaking of the high voter turnout, if this is what a large number of people can do when they take interest in the electoral process and the government in general, what would happen if this many people kept coming out to vote at every election and kept pushing for change after elections? Even though I always vote I have to admit I’ve often thought my vote can’t really change anything. But after this election I’m starting to think we really can make a change.